Looking Back

Looking back

I saw myself down in the dumps for such a long time

(I dunno when was it coz I already lost count) 

People around me had no idea what was goin' on in my life

I was grumpy, ill-tempered, irritable and all

But they tried to kinda understand me 

They've kept their distance which was okay, I think

Because, you know, explaining stuff is really not my thing back then so uber hard

So I was kinda happy and at peace revolving in my own circle

Which I think was totally weird for some people, but I didn't care

All I cared about was my inner peace and stability - mental and emotional.

Then one day, 

I found myself looking for something divine (was it?)

I wanted some intervention that's beyond human capacity and imagination.  

And there I found myself hunting for G.  

G brought me back in His arms

He allowed me to breathe slowly, according to my  own pacing

He embraced me and let me feel His mighty presence 

Through my friends, that I can only count in my fingers

Through the community, I am in at the moment,

G showed me how it feels like to be home and be loved

Slowly, I am moving forward

I got to love myself, see my worth

I got to see what I really wanted and what I really deserve

I got to explore and do the things I craved

And most importantly, I got to spend time with the people who love me unconditionally 

One way or another, I still trip at times, 

But it doesn't bother me anymore

I just keep on telling myself 

That I have to pull myself back up 

And not to dwell too much on being down

Otherwise, 

I'll be missing a lot of things that the universe is giving me.  

So to everyone who was with me during my "darkest" journey, Gracias.  

Also, I thank G for always being there for me, 

no matter what.  

*Photo was taken in Coron, Palawan of May 2018 

Inaanak Time

My inaanak, 

I am sooo happy to meet you finally.  

I was suppose to surprise you and your mom on my birthday but it didn't happen.  

It was the other way, instead.  

When I went to your house, your help told us that your mom went to SM to buy some groceries and that you're sleeping at that time.  However, your dad was with you.  

Then the following day, I came to see you.  Again, you were sleeping when I arrived.  I let you sleep as I talk to your grandma and mom.  I missed them.  It feels awesome to be with them.  

While we had snacks, you woke up and your mom took you out of your crib.  She initially carried you out of your room, but when I saw you, I took you from her.  I carried you with this gigil mode, but your huge, shocked eyes were on me.  I know you were thinking.  Who's this lady carrying me?  I haven't seen her.  O.O

But you know, what's amazing? You didn't cry or looked at your mom and dad, and ask them to carry you.  You let me carry you.  

Then, when we were done eating and chatting, we played with you in your room.  Of course, I can't skip this moment not taking loads of photos of you.  And you were magnificent.  

Oh, I will miss you, little sweetie.  I'll bring tons of memories when I go back to the sandpit.  

Carabao Island: Tagaytay Point

We capped our island tour with stopping by at the Tagaytay Point.  

The point is an uphill view that has been compared to Tagaytay in Batangas, hence its name.  Usually, this place has an entrance fee but, because we went there late and they are almost closing, they just let us enter and savor the view.  

Standing at the highest point of the island, you'll see Boracay Island from afar.  Would you believe that I've never been there?  And this is the first time I saw that island?  Well, I don't know.  Maybe because I told myself that this is the last beach/spot in the Philippines that I'll visit.  They said that it's beautiful.  I can't argue with that, I've seen tons of photos of Boracay.  But I still believe that other places in my beloved country 's worth more than those as mentioned earlier.  

Aside from the overseeing the island, watching sunsets are fantastic in this area.  We planned on catching the sunset it when we started our tour, but it didn't show up well because of the cloudy sky.  The rain the previous day might have brought those gray and gloomy clouds that hid the sun as it sets.  

We stayed there for a while hoping to see a glimpse of the sun because we were still hopeful, but it wasn't our lucky day.   We might need to go back and see it for ourselves next time.  

the registration area 

Thanks for the amazing sites, Carabao Island.  Till next time.