Looking Back

Looking back

I saw myself down in the dumps for such a long time

(I dunno when was it coz I already lost count) 

People around me had no idea what was goin' on in my life

I was grumpy, ill-tempered, irritable and all

But they tried to kinda understand me 

They've kept their distance which was okay, I think

Because, you know, explaining stuff is really not my thing back then so uber hard

So I was kinda happy and at peace revolving in my own circle

Which I think was totally weird for some people, but I didn't care

All I cared about was my inner peace and stability - mental and emotional.

Then one day, 

I found myself looking for something divine (was it?)

I wanted some intervention that's beyond human capacity and imagination.  

And there I found myself hunting for G.  

G brought me back in His arms

He allowed me to breathe slowly, according to my  own pacing

He embraced me and let me feel His mighty presence 

Through my friends, that I can only count in my fingers

Through the community, I am in at the moment,

G showed me how it feels like to be home and be loved

Slowly, I am moving forward

I got to love myself, see my worth

I got to see what I really wanted and what I really deserve

I got to explore and do the things I craved

And most importantly, I got to spend time with the people who love me unconditionally 

One way or another, I still trip at times, 

But it doesn't bother me anymore

I just keep on telling myself 

That I have to pull myself back up 

And not to dwell too much on being down

Otherwise, 

I'll be missing a lot of things that the universe is giving me.  

So to everyone who was with me during my "darkest" journey, Gracias.  

Also, I thank G for always being there for me, 

no matter what.  

*Photo was taken in Coron, Palawan of May 2018